10.  People who preface every statement with ‘You know what you ought to do!’  Yeah?  Well who asked you?

9.     People who postscript every statement with ‘But I could be wrong!’  Of course you could be wrong.  That’s the point.

8.     People who hear Stevie Ray Vaughn and pronounce ‘This makes me want to bang my head!

7.     People who insist risotto is the summit of culinary achievement.  It’s mushy rice, and about as exciting as shopping for toasters  at Wal-Mart on a Tuesday afternoon.

6.     People who willingly wait hours in a line to have their copy of Sarah Palin’s book personally signed.  They probably like shopping for toasters too…

5.     People who work in an office, wear half an inch of makeup, cascade themselves in a litre of perfume, paint their fingernails red white and blue, and snort every ten minutes ‘Ya’ll ready for lunch yet?’

4.     People who feign crucifixion while riding the Halifax-Dartmouth ferry to promote yet another banal easy listening country music radio station.

3.     People who give Stephen Harper a hard time.  It’s not nice to make fun of a man with a hair impediment.

2.     People who attempt to impress others by claiming they have a friend who is so smart they read the dictionary. Really?  The whole thing?  Did they like the ending?  Wait don’t tell me.  Leave me in suspense.

1.     People who stalk the neighborhood at night in pairs dressed in dark suits trying to harass those who pass by with questions like ‘Have you heard the good news?’ or ‘Have you accepted the lord your savior into your life?’  Nullius in verba

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